It must be the cold, damp rainy season that is finally getting me. Being sick sucks, first I had a headache inducing cold for 3 days now I my body aches and my head hurts. *sigh* Although the weather hasn't been all that bad until 2-3 days ago. But when Mother Nature strikes, she goes full on. It actually look like it may storm outside. 

On other more exciting news, last Saturday, I got my very first tip from a patient. Weird, seeing as I didn't feel all that into my treatment, I think it must be the fact that I look Filo although the contact lens that I was wearing that day was probably throwing him off. There was that and I got to treat a patient with complex scars from her accident way back when. I was actually super excited that I couldn't chart properly. And to think I was on call that day and considered leaving. 

Anyway, yesterday I went with the Ninang and kiddies to Value Village to buy the kids' costume. Afterwards we went to eat at A&W where this Filo lady turned around and ask if my "kids were born here". It kind of freaked me out that someone think I look old enough to be a mother of two. It was all on good intention though, since she was thoroughly amused that my cousins were speaking Tagalog. But still. 

-Elle Are Emm

NOT. Although I have to say that its going to be one of the nicest ones I shall have for a while. Seeing as my Friday class is finished so I will technically only have 3 days of classes per week. If only I can use this time to actually get work done *sigh* 

Today, being a free Friday, I took care of the baby that my aunt is supposed to be baby sitting from now on. Between trying to put him to sleep and keeping him happy, I tried catching naps here and there as well. I woke up at 3pm only to be in hurry since I had to get to main by 5:30pm. No sweat though because it turns out that I was going to be half hour early anyway. 

HOLLY COW! Was it a busy shift! I basically stood by the trailer ticket freezing my metaphorical balls off! TSK! to people and last minute tasks. See, it was the last day for the free health care profession tickets. We even sold out and basically 90% of people who came in today got in for free. On my way home MF  and KL called asking if they could come over. We spent the majority of the time trying to figure out which restaurant is still open at 10pm AND trying to look for a horror Asian movie. We settled for pizza/lasagna delivery and a Korean "horror" movie called Hanzel & Gretel. 

I hereby declare that I, Elle Are Emm shall no longer sleep past 12am and that I shall no longer waste my time doing senseless things on the internet as opposed to actually studying and getting things done.  That is all.

-Elle Are Emm

2 and some months ago, I decided to shut down most of my social networking (ie: facebook, tumblr, and twitter...somewhat) in the pretense that I wanted to do something worthwhile with all the free time I had in hand to something useful. However, it's not until recently (in fact just as recent as 2 days ago) that I actually picked up on a hobby that I'd REALLY like to continue with. I am presently trying to refresh my French skills, and hopefully further my studies on this beautiful language (as far as self studying is going to get me anyway). On a side note,I think I'm going to venture back to vlogging sometime soon.

-Elle Are Emm

...of me to completely freak out in disbelief that a book-turned-into-movie is not in the possession of the WHOLE Surrey Public Library? Actually, how geeky is it of me to be searching for books to read at 1am? Yeah, I'm a party animal alright Just shows you how exciting my life has been. Hence the lack of daily/regular updates.

Can you tell that I am totally procrastinating?

GAH!

-Elle Are Emm

Tatay dear is going to be alright. Obviously he didn't leave unscathed. From what I hear he is now hemiplegic, but thank the good Lord that that's all he has to suffer through considering the situation.

Things have been pretty mellow. Been hanging around CB watching movies etc (Resident Evil 3 was pretty good imo) and attending classes as usual. I just finished my first bouts of midterms. But I still need more focus.

Anyway, tonight I had gotten the chance to speak with Ninong and Tito Eric (did I mention that Ninong departed to the land of Alberta in search of better future?) Whilst Tito is doing okay, Ninong is bored and planning on heading back here. *Sigh* whatever they decide on right?

Today, I was supposed to hang out with JW, but I just can't bring myself to (more updates on that later on) So I decided to head over the Aquino's to spend the evening catching up and whatnots. It's really nice, I've really missed squatting in that family's home.

-Elle Are Emm

Is it really right if a part of my being is very reluctant and, hard it is to admit, aggravated that I now have to make this sacrifice? See, to even acknowledge this simple act as "sacrifice" already shows how I feel. I know that I have voluntarily made the offer out of obligation.

I am very ashamed to be feeling this way but I can't help it. When did I turn into this selfish monster who would put superficial materials before her own grandfather's health and safety?

Dear God, please absolve me. I am trying my best to make this offer come from my heart. Rest assured that even if it isn't, that I will honour my word and do what's right

-Elle Are Emm

I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with saying that Daddy dear just got a devastating phone call from Nanay. Apparently Tatay got stroke yesterday. I really have nothing to say, except that it breaks my heart that this is happening. Especially now that we are supposedly starting anew with our life.

We were supposed to be regaining out luck. I guess there is no real happiness without tragedy lurking in the corner.
What do I do?
What can I do?

-Elle Are Emm

My days have been partly repetitive, as expected from having school in session yet again. Other than spending the whole of Sunday afternoon with mommy buying room stuff (ie: desk, shoe rack etc) and going out with CB on Monday evening to supposedly view the BW exhibit, only to find out that it was actually ONLY for volunteers that day, then deciding to just go for ice cream, nothing significant has happened as of late.

But for some reason I feel compelled to talk about an event that DID occur and is still taking place. Which is only on my mind because I found a letter I wrote for my Sr year year book that I didn't get a chance to give to two of my friends, which lead me to find the whole lot of file and re-read them all.

I don't want to talk about it anymore since I've already said my peace. And quite frankly, although it is still in the back of my mind, I am just too busy with other things to really care about this other matter at hand. Yes, you've guessed it, it's about the whole deal with CM. Before I get started, I just want to state that I really feel absolutely NOTHING over this matter. I don't feel upset, angry or whatever else towards her. I have gotten over all the emotions after I've told the 3rd or so person about it. I did plan on talking to her just to be fair, but the right time or opportunity never presented itself seeing as I have only seen her since the "incident" twice. Both at parties nonetheless.

Apparently, she has now realized my lack of response and just the over all absence of my constant text messages, that she has taken it upon herself to ask a couple of people about it. She is speculating that I have ill feelings towards her, and I'm pretty sure that her, being her has no clue of what she's done. The damage is permanent, but instead of burning our ties (which is impractical and ineffective seeing as we share the same crowd) I've decided to cut my loss instead. Meaning my disinterest with regards to our friendship has led me to act civil towards her instead. She's there when she's there. No more no less.

Now, if only I can let her know. To be honest, I don't even think I can tell her how I FELT with the same passion as if it were when the damage was fresh. Like I said, I feel nothing and that's that. I should have figured that this will catch up to me sooner or later though. Just yesterday, CB texted me about CM's inquiries. In the same afternoon her name came up when mother dear and I was talking. AND in the SAME evening, while shopping, I saw a mutual friend of ours and he promptly ask if I was with her seeing as she was supposedly present in the same area. "Oh shit!" moment indeed, just as I was almost leaving she miraculously found me amongst the throng of impatient crowd. She mentioned that I haven't been replying to which I said I was out and busy the whole day, which was true.

Ugh I want to sleep, the afternoon of assembling furniture and the fail attempt to view BW has left me exhausted.

-Elle Are Emm

I've always believed that one sign of maturity is going through with commitments you've made even though you don't feel up to it at all. You know, those times when you've already talked yourself out of it, and if there were any chance at all of not doing said chore, you'd be out of there in less than a millisecond? Yeah, well that's how I felt about this BW volunteer business. When people hear about this, they give me this look like I just got out of a loony bin. The thing is I had my own motives, though it wasn't met in the end. When it comes down to it, I realize that I've brought this upon myself and the least I can do is have fun. Right?

So I head there, got changed and stuffed my bag in a very shaddy looking locker room. Wondered around looking for whoever it is that can help me out. See, I already knew that our "team leader" wasn't around, what I didn't realize is that she had no one subbing for her. Evidently, us volunteers for the FIRST ever shift was left to fend for ourselves. I started getting exasperated. I maybe disorganized with my own personal life, but this attitude doesn't transfer to my professional life. I kept my cool, and soon we just got together and figured things out for ourselves. So that was cool.

Over all, I would say that I was a little timid with my role, as I have never done anything like this before. However, it was still fun getting acquainted with my fellow volunteers. Playing around at the end of the night was actually pretty fun.  

At quitting time, I headed back to Surrey and got picked up by Ate Krisha (KB), Ate NA, Ate Val and Joanne Sommes since it was Friday and I wanted to bum around and they wanted a continuation of last week! HOLLY! Ate KB's place IS a CAKERY! I remember the days when daddy dear worked at English Bay cookie making factory! But it's hardly nearly as good as cakes! Chantate with CB, 1 Girl 5 Gays, a drunk Kuya RB/ CB, and a couple hours later (and shots for them), we finally decided to part ways. I didn't get home until 1/2 ish. Worrisome really since I still have clinic the next day.

Fast forwarding to this morning: It was rainy, left a little late, and waited for my bus. Saw Tita Janet. Took transit with her while catching up about this and that. I was a bit late for my shift. Let me tell you, I have never appreciated the bus stop 3mins away where I used to live until now. I have always believed that the bus I am currently taking is the faster one but N.O! It's just always too busy! We don't live THAT much farther it's really just waiting time that will be the death of me.

Over all, my clinic shift went JUST okay. There were some bumps here and there (like not doing my charts properly, and assessing the wrong joint) I think it must be from the lack of sleep. Although this really shows how much reviewing I SHOULD get started on ASAP.

In the afternoon, I met up with the Babilonia bunch at the mall. Since they were doing a little of their shopping I ate Mcdee, then just met up. The highlight of my day really is figuring out where to get our eyebrows done ( I think I found a fav place) and going in random stores. The Philo store and Unique Boutique at the end was amusing.  Sadly, the CB and JB had commitments so I was just dropped home and callopsed.

-Elle Are Emm

Here we go again on the endless loop of monotonous days. *Sigh* Don't you just love school? Just for the sake of blogging, here's my day:
-School at 8:30. Since younger brother didn't want to share cleaning duty in their place he decided that from now on he will be bathing in my bathroom. It's been a painful, scream inducing couple of days because he conveniently used the washroom the same time I have to. Hey, at least I got a ride to the Sky Train this A.M

-Home bound by 12 pm. Dropped by Army and Navy to pick up a few things (hoodie, belt, black pants, stockings and panties ) Had to go to the bank though since Student Loan finally came in. This time, I have to manage my $$ or whatever I have left of it after I buy text books, and other necessities that I need. Must resist the urge to online shop. As it is, I already bought contact lenses, and in the middle of picking out a few boots UGH! SOMEONE STOP ME!

-Elle Are Emm