October 6, 2013

  • The Republic of the Philippines; my birth land

    10.04.13

    Finally finished the long anticipated board exam, I've been on this journey for so long that I never thought the day would come.  The thing is a part of me was strongly hoping, that finally having the opportunity to complete this task, would somehow rekindle something  that would enable me to continue on with this profession I've been heavily invested on.

     

    It’s funny how things take it course, if I’m completely honest, nothing has change. It pained me to admit, but the truth of the matter is, I was never interested in this profession. I entered it with the wrong mindset, and now it had panned out to be the worst mistake of my young-ish life.

    Needless to say, for all the false pretenses the past couple of months, I never had the motivation or the interest to focus and revise and I just could not care less.  And now? Where am I? On the 5th hour of a 12 hour plane ride-plus 2 hour layover in Japan- to the Philippines. Flight info screen in front of me says that the coordinates put me about 46:54 N in latitude, and 174:13 W longitude.

    I am just the worst daughter aren't I? Okay, well maybe not the worst, but I’m pretty up there. After fucking around, and leading the parents to believe I've been haul-assing, and slaving away in preparation for these cursed tests, I let them send me off on a 3 month long vacation, all expense paid; from the plane ticket, to pocket money, to an over- baggage fee. Perhaps it’s my guilty conscience that’s preventing me from experiencing even a sliver of excitement, or any emotion for that matter. I left hardly letting anyone know I’m leaving, I’m travelling alone to the other side of the world, and there just isn’t anything in particular I’m feeling, aside from discomfort at being in a cramp space.  Yes, I wanted to go on this trip because it’s been a decade since we left the Philippines, and I have not been back. Yes, I want to see family. But most importantly, this trip serves as an escape, a chance to try and re-calibrate and gain a measure of composure. It doesn't feel like I’m leaving anything and anyone behind –aside from Aso- despite the fact that I’m going to be away for a quarter  of a year, missing multiple birthdays, Halloween, Christmas and New Year. However, it’s something that I feel I need at the moment.

     

    10.05.13


    Thank God for my safe arrival with no hitch.  That was hands down my least favourite flight just yet. Funny, as much as I enjoy travelling, I absolutely despise flying due to the sheer discomfort of it. Okay, maybe not the flying itself, but more like the economy class. I promised myself that before I die, or when I reach a certain seniority of age, I shall indulge and fly first/business class. Just thinking of all that leg room is exciting.

    So yeah, I had very little trouble finding my was to my connecting flight in Japan, shame though, I would have liked to walk around the airport had my layover was any longer. At least my flight to Manila was a bit more comfortable, but at that point I was just over it. All I wanted to do was find a clean, flat surface to lay down on. First impression? The air is definitely different, it was...sticky, and of course, smelly.

    I had to wait over half an hour for my ride, which consisted of my aunt and her daughters, plus her friend. The first meeting was rather anticlimactic admittedly. I don't really know what I expected, but it was just uneventful.  Driving to their home gave me multiple cardiac infarction, it was loud, slow, and no one seem to know the concept that a metal car is much sturdier and stronger that a human body.

    I ate red hot dogs -super salty-, unpacked in their spare room, and after calling the parents, settled in for the night.

    I already miss toilet papers.

    10. 06.13

    Woke up at noon. Mother's dad, sister and nephew came over for a visit. Too many feels. Ate DR came -another anticlimactic meeting- then church with the cousins in the evening. SM afterwards to pick up a few of my essentials. Talk about sensory overload.  Jeez, you never would have thought that this is a developing country with the sheer volume of people in the shopping mall. Went home to find mother's aunt and her kids for a visit. Needless to say, I'm very unused with a crowd in my home. At the end of the night, I was exhausted and didn't even have the energy to wash up, no matter how sticky I felt.

    10.07.13

    I knew my nocturnal tendencies will pay off somehow,  since I haven't had any troubles adjusting to the time difference at all. I woke up nice and early today, stayed in bed for an hour, reading off my tablet and just relishing the quiet, down time. Thank goodness it's a weekday and people are all busy. Everyone seem to be apologetic that I would be left on my own vices, but honestly, this is probably the best thing that's happened since I came.

     

    I think I've found a way to beat the heat, I've decided to expend less amount of energy as I can by moving as little as possible.

     

    -Elle Are Emm