November 18, 2011

  • It isn't supposed to feel like this

    But it always does. 

     

    My birthday is always the most depressing day of the year for me. Life has been good lately, but it wasn't always like this was it? I have no idea how to tell my friends to not make a big deal and just leave me alone, I don't want them to think I'm trying to fish for greetings or that I'm overly emotional. JB, please see this on time and let everyone know. Truth be told, I will cry if anyone greets me at all. As if I didn't look stupid enough with a tear in my eye and insistently sniffling away in public this evening. I have been feeling this way since the beginning of November, but I was just able to keep it under wrap. Today though...mere 50mins away, I can really feel the sadness dawning in. 

     

    Though I've never felt more blessed in my life that I have now. Father will have the option of coming home on his days off soon, its snowing and I get off early tomorrow. Life is good. I ask for nothing but for the success of my dad in this journey he is on. God has been and is good to me and my family, for his guidance, I offer all that I am. 

     

    With that thought in mind, it's rather hard to feel completely sad and empty. 

     

    Regardless, I still hope I can spend the night and day curled up in a ball. As it is though, I have a project and an exam to pull an all-nighter for. 

     

    --Elle Are Emm